Shh…I’m on my honeymoon and after a very long day traipsing all over Savannah, my husband is asleep. As we lay (or should it be lie) in bed, I am taking a few moments to write my first blog post using my IPhone.
Admittedly it is not nearly as easy as using my laptop but that’s not here with me and I don’t want to go another day without telling you a few things.
First, my wedding was amazing. It was a beautiful day. The weather cooperated, all of my bridesmaids looked gorgeous and there was so much laughter and love. I was nervous and I mean really nervous when it came to standing in front of everyone, especially when we exchanged the vows we wrote for each other, but it went well. How could it not? You have two people who love each other enough to commit to being together for the rest of their lives, telling each other why in front of family and friends. It has the makings of greatness and for us, solidified what we already knew, that we were meant to find one another. I have never smiled so big and for so long as I did that day. It felt like magic. It felt like a fairy tale and there was so much joy. Dancing with my Dad as we sang “Young At Heart”, holding onto my husband’s hand as we had photos taken, linking arms with my Mom on the side of the dance floor watching my family laugh and listening to the speeches made by my sister, my best friend and my father-in-law, this was the stuff dreams were made of, and this dream of mine had come true.
Second, I love using the word husband. It feels like I’ve been given this gift that makes me giggle like a kid. Every time he reaches for my hand and I see his ring I am almost surprised all over again. I found someone to grow old with who takes me for who I am, Real Housewives obsession and all. I love my husband. Giggle. Husband, husband, husband.
Ok, I’m assuming at this point you’re ready to call it quits with this post due to how lovey dovey sweet it is. To that I say two things. One, cut me a break, I’m a newlywed. Two, here’s a little good old fashioned life lesson learning for you to maybe balance things out. I mean sure I’m head over heels in love but I’m still cognizant of the nitty gritty. I haven’t lost touch with reality…totally.
This evening we went to dinner. Picture it…We were sitting outside on a second floor shaded patio. The sun was bright, there was a slight breeze and a street musician was just across the road playing “It’s A Wonderful World” on the sax I shit you not. It was picture perfect. As I was eating my pound of crab legs a woman just seated at the table next to us, motions to my plate. She tells her dinner date that she would never be able to finish that much food and then tosses her hair over her shoulder and laughs. I pause and grimace without looking at her and count backwards from ten so as not to pour my large untouched side of melted butter all over her attitude.
She laughs again as she again says something about my plate. I can tell by Scott’s conversation that he hasn’t heard her so I make a mental note to tell him later and proceed with my dinner, wet naps and all.
As the night progresses she gets her food and mentions several times over the course of the meal how good it is and how she needs to slow down and savor each bite so as not to eat too much of it. It is at this point when I imagine having a conversation with her and admittedly, didn’t plan on being nice. She was under my skin and I was aggravated.
It didn’t help of course that I wasn’t feeling particularly good about myself after seeing some photos from the wedding. I wanted to tell this self involved asshat all about my thyroid trouble and how some days I could eat a vegetable patch and gain five pounds. I wanted to tell her how sick I had been and how hard it had been to lose so much weight and gain half of it back and not understand why either happened all the while eating no gluten and breaking out in hives every third day, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I realized that no matter how I chose to approach it, it was none of her business and that essentially, I was judging her and what she may have meant by her potentially callous comments. This seemed wrong as my issue with her in the first place was that I felt she had judged me.
Damn you life lesson.
Fine, let’s refocus.
The rest of the night was spent stopping for dessert at a specialty place recommended by the locals and then a mad rush back to the hotel where I proceeded to get terribly ill due to what I imagine was some kind of gluten I wasn’t aware of. It was probably something in the mashed potatoes with dinner. Either that or that judgemental asshat judgey mcjudgerson zapped me with her bad vibes and her tanned toned arms. Weasel.
Ok, give me a sec to find my zen again. I’m not judging, I’m not judging, I’m not judging.
Anyway, I later confessed to Scott what I had heard her say and how badly I was feeling about how I looked. My health had been such a yo-yo over the past several months and I feared that in every wedding pic we would soon see, I would look like Bullwinkle (the moose). Yes I know I can be hard on myself but I’m also chubby with a very temperamental thyroid and I was wearing all white that day. If I’m being completely honest the color was actually ivory but there was ALOT of it. His response, “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You’re a ten, a beautiful woman and when I saw you for the first time on our wedding day you looked like a model in a fashion magazine.”
I know, he’s lovely, really, really lovely.
As I bring this post to a close as my eyes are starting to droop (and my hands hurt trying to type this all out on my phone in the dark while lying down), lets remember a few things. Finding the love of your life is something worth celebrating…like Mardi Gras combined with a World Series Parade topped off with winning an Oscar, celebrating. Saying the word husband makes me giggle the way I do whenever I use the word shuttlecock; which is every Tuesday on the courts at the club with Miffy. And finally, although there are asshats everywhere, there is no need to be one yourself or to yourself. Embrace who you are and love yourself. Also, try not to judge, it’s ugly. Oh and when you’re visiting a town by the ocean, go to a seafood restaurant ASAP and get the crab legs. They are fucking amazing.