Learning How To Live

Running and careening and gripping at the sky

As tumbleweeds and bygone friends

Sigh and pass you by

Skipping over stones

Lunging over cracks

Dropping so much heavy

Behind you in your tracks

Covered up in glitter

Ambition used as glue

Finally understanding

The one to please is you

Orchestrating, conducting, an ensemble or a solo

Trying every single street

With the only truth that you know

Looking leads to finding

Believing helps you dream

Not all of what you thought was real

Is as daunting as it seems

The mountain is the summit

The sun there all along

The moments where you felt most weak

Were when you were most strong

Continuing to climb

Confined to only dark

Not knowing it was in that moment

You began to leave your mark

The steps you took were measured

Cautious and unsure

One and then the other

Hoping there was more

Finally in a clearing

Arms out open wide

Feeling almost weightless

Expecting now to fly

The burdens that you carried

And long ago sat down

Took root along your path

And grew from broken ground

Stepping off the mountain

Ready to take flight

They rise to meet your feet

And support your newfound might

Looking leads to finding

Believing helps you dream

This life is yours for living

And it’s bursting at the seams

I Am Yours

First
There was up
And then
There was down
I reached to the heavens
And
Crawled on the ground
Mistakes they were mighty
Successes were few
I puffed up my chest
Too stubborn to move
I pushed at the wall
I leaned on the light
I stood on the track
About to take flight
Stuck in my shoes
I walked in my socks
I thought both inside of
And
Outside the box
Roaming the sidewalks
Scaling the mountains
Swinging from sentiment
Swimming in fountains
Not sure where to go
Or how to belong
The struggle I felt
When weak and when strong
I opened up wide
I closed myself down
I forgot about sky
Melting over and down
Questions they tumbled
Over highs and my lows
Answers arriving in dreams
And in prose
I was light
I was heavy
I was smart
I was moored
I was what I was
And now I am yours

The Top Spot

Tonight I have a doctor’s appointment. At this very moment I am sitting in the parking lot because I arrived ridiculously early (side note: I’m never early let alone in a ridiculous manner so if you just saw a pig fly past you, you’ll now know why and if you’re in hell, you’re gonna need a coat).

As I pulled into the parking lot for said appointment I saw that one of the front spots, closest to the building, was open. I chose to drive past it and find a less desirable spot.

Why?

Well I figured that someone would need it being as it was so cold and that soon it would be dark. I didn’t want anyone to have to come out to a dark car in a dark lot while grabbing at their jacket’s collar trying to shield their face from the bitter, cutting wind.

Wait.

It’s ok for my teeth to chatter though?

Is that what I’m saying?

It’s ok if I meander through a dark, empty lot with the wind whipping at my imitation fleece jacket?

Normally I’d say yes but normally I wouldn’t even consider the spot until it was after the fact and I was trying to calm my knocking knees and racing heart from the imaginary lurker in the bushes.

Well, for once I say” to hell with that!” My safety is important and my warmth is important too!

You’ll be pleased to know that I’m sitting in my car, parked in that spot right now and I’m lovin’ the view!

So often I put myself out only to either struggle with the consequences of it or see myself as a poor, lowly martyr who is championing the cause of society without so much as a thank you.

I think that makes me foolish and a bit of a whiner. I mean, I like to do good and I naturally want to help people but what’s so wrong with helping myself?

Absolutely nothing.

The truth is that you gotta love yourself and understand that when you put yourself first, you’re not being selfish, you’re being smart. Smart people take care of themselves and they realize that there’s room for all of us to have the best seat in the house every now and again.

So say so long to your self imposed angst and frustration and hello to the sweet satisfaction that comes with knowing you deserve the best and doing what you can to get it. Take my word for it, it’s pretty fantastic…and imaginary lurker free.